The End is in Sight

I haven't been able to watch many episodes of GH in their entirety since before Sam had her baby on June 5, 2012 (one of the reasons I remember that date so clearly is June 5th happens to be my own birthday). It has been months of torture that has been deemed 'entertainment' that we have been forced to accept as GH recently.  It is now October and I keep just thinking back to where GH was a year ago.  GH was on top of the world and so were the fans.  JaSam had just been married and we finally got our dream come true.  GH was doing great in ratings and most fans were incredibly happy with GH and the writers and everything overall.  Oh, how a year can change things.  A year ago we were all devoted fans to the most amazing couple and soap on TV.  While we are still devoted fans, we have been very much abused for that love this past year. Sadly our time is running out to watch our amazing couple.  We have two weeks left (or a little less) of Steve Burton to be on our TV screens.  Hard to even imagine life after Jason in the world of Port Charles...not that Port Charles has resembled the Port Charles we have always known in the past year.  But it is still hard to even conceived of the concept there will be no hero rushing in to save the day, there will be no team of Jason and Sam to save Port Charles of whatever ails it.  There will be no Jason.

I know I can't change the future and I know the end is in sight for Jason Morgan's character that has been part of a show for over 20 years.  I know that there is no hope for me to wake up tomorrow or even next week and it all have been a bad nightmare and Steve to really be coming back and Jason and Sam to be alive, strong and ready to take on the world together.  This is probably why I find it hard to watch the next two weeks of GH because the end is in sight.  The end is coming and there is nothing that can change this.  Of course, this is the land of soaps so you never know what the future may hold.  Heck, look Duke is alive.  But in all honestly, this end feels more final then others.  I don't want Jason and Sam to end.  I don't want Jason to end.  I also know that with Jason's 'death' many of us (me included) will probably stop watch GH all together.  I also know GH is pretty much on life support these days and with the departure of Steve Burton, GH might just go down like the titanic or even faster. 
But I guess we have to be happy with the last two weeks that we get.  There are 99 zillion 9 trillion and 10 reasons to be upset, feel cheated, feel robbed of our happy ending but I guess we just have to watch and be happy with what we get.  Sadly, we just have to watch the story end.  We owe it to our couple to watch faithfully for the next two weeks.  We owe it to Sam to watch as when Sam is on coping with Jason's loss.  But that is where it ends.  I guess we always knew there would be an end...every beginning has an ending, that is a fact of life. I guess this is our fact of life reminder.

The saying goes beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad.  It is the middle stuff that counts the most.  So instead of just thinking of the end that is coming, lets think about the beginning and middle parts of this great love and remember those when we watch for the next couple of weeks.  Remember the happiness.  Remember their first meetings when Jason tried to pay Sam to leave town.  When Jason was assigned to guard Sam.  Remember when Sam found out she was pregnant and Jason came to her rescue at the women's clinic when she was unsure of what to do. Remember their first wedding that almost happened.  Remember when Jason tracked Sam down to Texas where she lied about losing the baby just be her night in shining armor rushing her to a hospital, holding her hand and falling in love with Sam right in front of our eyes.  Remember Jason and Sam planning on having a family, sharing special moments when she was pregnant all the while their feelings for one another growing stronger and stronger.  Remember Jason making fun of Sam's singing and Sam asking him to go to Hawaii with her and the baby.  Remember Jason being Sam's rock when the baby died and they both grieved for the lost of their child.  Remember when they both realized their feelings were stronger then they could deny. Remember the first kiss and the second. Remember when Sam moved out and Jason to come to her rescue at Jakes with Coleman.  Remember Jason sitting next to Sam and Kristina's christening and supporting her that whole difficult night.  Remember Jason asking Sam to come over for a date and Sam showing up with baby Hope.  Remember them loving that child and wanting a family again.  Remember the proposal full of love and passion.  Remember Jason letting Hope go and losing Sam. Remember Sam being framed and Jason proving she was innocent.  Remember them being on the run. Remember Sam doing anything to get Jason to the hospital when he was shot.  Remember their love growing as Jason grieved over the loss of Michael and Sam being his rock.  Remember as the tracked down Michael and worked together to help get him therapy after AJ died.  Remember them running away with Michael to keep him safe.  Remember them being happy no matter what because they had each other.  Remember the evil twin, the crazy island and remember Jason getting sick.  Remember even through memory loss Jason found his way back to Sam because not even memory loss could destroy their love.  Remember the 2nd proposal when Jason could not remember his past but all he knew was Sam was the greatest thing in his life.  Remember Sam being by Jason's side through the treatment and surgeries. Remember Jason doing anything to protect Sam from Manny and anyone else out to hurt her.  Remember Jason supporting Sam as she learned who her real mother was.  Remember Sam getting shot.  Remember Jason (in a moment of idiotic logic) breaking up with Sam. Remember Sam fighting for their relationship.  Remember the bad times that took place next but also remember the good.  Remember nothing could keep them apart.  Remember Jason setting up the roof top dinner and Sam smiling for the first time in a long time.  Remember Sam getting arrested and escaping from custody. Remember Jason going to save her and them being on the run together.  Remember them beating the charges and reuniting.  Remember Sam finding out she could not get pregnant and her trying to protect Jason from the truth. Remember the Metro Court hostage situation where Jason and Sam worked as a team to save everyone. Remember that even though 2007 happened it didn't ruin everything because even in 2008 Jason thought of Sam all the time.  Remember in 2009 as Jason and Sam grew closer and closer back together, Jason never stopped loving Sam. Remember when Sam showed up in one of her outfits at Jason's pent house and his eyes about popped out of his head.  Remember when they were following Kristina and Michael how worried Jason was about Sam traveling alone.  Remember Jason getting shot and Sam saving him.  Remember how Jason wanted everything back and would not give up until he and Sam were reunited. Remember the awkwardness of starting again but the love the both shared. Remember them working as a team again to track down Claudia's schemes.  Remember them falling more and more in love.  Remember Jason and Sam covering up Claudia's death. Remember their love growing stronger as Franco targeted Jason and kidnapped Sam.  Remember Jason out of his mind with worry for Sam's safety. Remember Jason going to prison and Sam standing by his side the whole time he was in prison. Remember his homecoming celebration Sam gave him.  Remember the happiness and love.  Remember Sam going after the Lopez brothers and the two of them teaming up to take them on at the cabin at the same time sharing amazing moments reminding each other why they love each other so much. Remember Brenda and the Baulkin - neither were a match for taking down our amazing couple.  Remember when it was Sam on the gurney instead of Brenda. Remember Jason's face when he realized it was Sam. Remember how loving and devoted Jason was during Sam's recovery. Remember Jason realizing he wanted more then just to be with Sam he wanted to propose to her.  Remember the proposal that was the most magical rooftop proposal in all of soap history.  Remember the wedding planning and the surgery. Remember the look on Jason's face when he saw Sam in her wedding dress. Remember the wedding in their own style.  Remember their cabin wedding night and remember the happiness.  Remember Jason told Sam she was his home and no one has ever been that to him in the past.  Sam was his everything.  Remember the honeymoon, the Hawaiian shirts, the surfing game, the naps the happiness.  Remember the bad too but also remember Sam's love for Jason helped her overcome the horror Franco unleashed.  Remember the joy they felt when the tests confirmed the baby was theirs.  Remember their happiness and love and no matter what they haven't stopped loving each other.  Remember that and hold on to all these memories as the end approaches.

Endings are, after all, usually sad.  I don't expect this ending to be any different.   I just hope to hold on to all the memories of the last almost 9 years that we have been given.

What SHOULD Have Been

Yesterday just about every JaSam fan out there watched GH.  Many of us have really just briefly been viewing GH but yesterday we watched.  We watched because it was all we could do to stay away.  As I watched yesterdays show, initially I LOVED it because it showed what we all WANTED it to be like.  What we have WAITED  8 FREAKING YEARS to happen.  I loved every smile and giggle and every kiss.  I loved seeing Spixie reunite because Kristin Storms is back and it just felt right. I loved every second of the episode until.........the end.  Until we had to go back to reality, until we were reminded just as Jason was reminded by Sam, this isn't how it happened.  This isn't how it turned out.  Then we were left with a feeling that the air had been knocked out of our sails.
Yesterday's show is how our JaSam love story SHOULD HAVE BEEN.  How we all wanted it to go.  How we would have liked it to go since we worked so darn hard saving GH as a show that is what we wanted to see happen.  We wanted a baby Emily and a baby Daniel.  We wanted those names and the happiness Jason and Sam shared. 
After the show ended yesterday I wanted to cry.  It was like the pain of this last year just washed up to the top again for me. All the love I felt while watching yesterday's show just made me ache because I know we will never get that perfect love story.  Steve Burton is leaving so even if Jason and Sam had decided to give things another try and to admit their love can overcome anything it still means there is an END coming.  Steve is leaving and no matter what way their write things, the END for Jason and Sam's perfect love is COMING.  We can't do anything about that. 
I really wish instead of watching the past few months RC tear Jason and Sam we would have got just a little of that happiness.  But instead we got none.  We got nothing but broken hearts and broken dreams.  I wonder if RC realizes how much we all hate him?  I wonder if FV realizes it too? Who knows but yesterday's show just left me feeling broken after it was over. 
I felt like it was RC and FV's way of saying 'nannie nannie boo boo, we ruined your favorite couple and show'.  It was like they were saying this is what you wanted us to write but this is what we decided to do since we were angry ABC canceled OLTL.  It is no secrete those two are bitter about that.  None of this crap would have happened is JFP and Wolf were still at the helm.  But that is, of course, the point.  What if JFP was still at GH? What if SB wasn't leaving? What if Garin Wolfe was still the HW?  What if Guza was still there?  What if we still had our JaSam?  But where will what if's get you?  They only give you more sadness about the true reality. 
I feel sorry for Kristin Storms she worked so hard to come back after her illness and what she came back to is nothing like the place she left.  Though watching Maxie has been one of the only highlights recently, it can't save a sinking ship.  That is what GH is now, it is the titanic.  Thanks to RC and FV they have managed to sink a great empire.  At this point GH is filling with water and soon it will dive deep into the ocean. 
I don't know what we can do to make it clear to ABC, FV and RC about how much they have wronged us, but I guess we have to keep trying.  After all it isn't over until it is over.  While it might feel like we are 'the band playing on as the titanic sank', I guess it can't hurt to try to save GH, oust the new regime and get Steve back.  I have written many letters, some positive some negative some full and angry and some trying to find the good in all of this.  Maybe it is my way of dealing.  If it helps you, write letters too.  Keep trying and so will I. After all it is a soap opera so anything is possible.

So Much For My Happy Ending

This morning most of us woke up to the news that Steve Burton has quit GH after 21 years.  The end of an era in so many ways came crashing down on our computer screens before most of us had our second cups of coffee.  Stunned we all read the articles, tweets and comments to the story.  For most of us Steve has been the icon of GH for so many years we can't even comprehend the thought of a GH without Jason Morgan.  But that is our new reality.  This year has been a lot about new realities and acceptance and I think this news coming now, almost for some of us, seems like the final nail in the JaSam coffin... so to speak.   For the most part, yes, it is the end of JaSam as we know it.  We love the Stelly Magic that has electrified our TV screens for all these years.  The intensity of Jason's stares at Sam.  The amazing acting both Steve Burton and Kelly Monaco have done for so many years flashed before our eyes as we read that article today.  With a few deep breaths I realized the end is upon us.  But just because it is the end it doesn't mean we should not watch at least how it is ended.  We should watch to see how they do Steve's departure.  We owe JaSam that much.  We have been on this journey for the last 8 years, we should see it through to the end, even if it is a bitter end that we didn't want to come. 

I know it has been difficult this year to watch all of the changes occur for JaSam and GH.  My enjoyment to watch has wavered much like most, I am sure.  I kept hoping against hope, if we just just rode this storm out things would get better, there would be a silver lining to this all.  Sam and Jason would have their happy ending. We, as completely loyal and dedicated fans, would also have that happy ending we had hoped for.  If GH was to get canceled, we hoped that Jason and Sam and their child would ride off into the sunset together and we would feel complete.  We would get our story the way we wanted it. 

Well............. I am here to tell you, sometimes in life we don't always get what we want. Life changes plans on us sometimes without warning.  Chapters of our life are slammed shut before we feel they are complete.    As fans that is what we kind of feel like today, like out book has been slammed shut without getting to read the middle part just with a "The End" right at the point we thought things would be improving.  It's a bit sour to accept just yet but accept is what we must do.  We have our absolute answer now and now we don't need to hope against hope things will come out differently.  The finality of today's news resonated for many of us that our hoped for JaSam happy ending has been cut short.   We must accept this now and for me I felt a small weight was lifted.  Let me clarify that last statement with more detail.  I have mixed feeling for quite some time now about GH.   I have been struggling to watch and to be passionate about the show I once loved.  I have been struggling to find what I once loved in it as I watched this new regime destroy the greatest show bit by bit.  I struggled to find what Grandmother and I used to talk about and share such love for.  But now, I feel like I don't have to try to keep digging deeper and deeper to find something that makes me happy about GH anymore.  I don't have to keep digging to find some pieces of Grandmother's love for the show anymore either.  Grandmother has been gone a long time, and though I still talk to her in my prayers at night, I think this helps me to accept she is really not here anymore.  She lives on in my heart and that is where she should live on, not in a TV show we both once loved.   I know the Chapter of JaSam is coming to an end and now I can move on without regret. Yes, honestly, once this story wraps up it will probably been the end of GH for me.  But I can do it knowing I did my best writing to keep GH alive for many years and I enjoyed every second of Jason and Sam's love story and that is how I would like to end it for me.  I would like to end my viewership of 26 years on a happy fulfilled note.   I think in some small way today's news gives me the closure I have been searching for.  Please don't be angry with me for ending my viewership with Steve's departure.  I will continue to blog all the way up until the end of JaSam's era.


We have all watched and loved JaSam so much that sometimes we have forgotten they are fictional characters and the people that play them have their own lives going on in the background.  Steve's decision did not come easily to him.  But he is doing what he feels is best for his family and his career and you can't discount him for that.  Often times in life we have to make decisions that don't make complete sense while we make them but in the end - it is the best thing you did.  I have no doubt that Steve will be successful in all of his future endeavors and that hopefully his family is happy and enjoy living in a quiet remote area of TN instead of LA.  Raising a family has a lot of  challenges and tough decisions and I am sure the didn't make this one on a whim.  I too think about moving to a more remote place to raise my kids as well away from the hustle and bustle that seems to influence young minds.  So do not be angry at Steve for leaving.  He gave us 21 amazing years with those dreamy eyes and longing stares.  Steve is doing what is right for him.  Do not bash Steve on Twitter or FB or on chats or other messages boards.  Please let Steve know you are thankful for the memories! After all, there would have never been a JaSam or a reason to watch GH if it hadn't been for Steve. 

On that regard, also don't be angry at Kelly for staying either.  They are two different people with different priorities in their real lives.  Steve's current priority is his family.  Kelly's priority is her career.  She is staying on GH because it is her career and we should honor that.  She is not leaving.  Sam is staying in PC for the next chapter of her life no matter what happens.  It is important to remember to show Kelly some love. Support her on DWTS this fall too.  Do not be angry with Kelly for what ever direction they take Sam's character.  It is her job to take Sam on where TPTB direct her to go.  She will do an outstanding job - I have complete faith in her.  Kelly is an outstanding actress who will succeed in what ever comes her way. 

(For more details of Steve's departure and decision http://www.tvguide.com/News/Steve-Burton-Quits-General-Hospital-1052432.aspx )

Hold On - This is going to hurt like Hell

 And so they ended.  And so the day came we all dreaded.  I watched because I felt I owed that to JaSam.  I cried and now I am trying to accept it.  For the last 9 months we have watch since Sam's rape at our couple start to be pulled apart.  No one liked the story line, we had all hoped for a re-write that would reunite Jason and Sam before the baby was born. But that didn't happen, we all watched as they uncharacteristically  turned to others to talk to instead of each other.  We watched as they were torn apart more and more each episode.  We all hoped and hoped again but alas in the end our hopes didn't come true.  So they are over and now headed for divorce.  I guess the worst is upon us and now we must learn to accept it. None of us wanted this to happen ever and especially happen this way.  But we can't go back in time and fix it. 
 I am reminded about something Frodo Baggins once said to Gandalf :
Fordo: "I wish the ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.
Gandalf: "So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. "

So what are we sad and hurt JaSam fans going to do with the time that is given to us?
-Do we move forward turn off our TV sets and never watch GH again?  Well that that is a viable option and right now seems logical.  Because once something hurts you why would you go back for more pain, right?  Sounds completely rational on some levels.  After all, why would we want to watch a show that is no longer entertaining us or making us happy.  Why would we want to watch something that only depresses us because they tore apart our perfect couple? But why do that when we fought so hard to save this show? Is that why we rallied last year and wrote letter after letter and called and did all we could to save GH? Was that why we did all this to stop watching entirely less then a year later? Seems like a waste of our efforts if you ask me.  Are we really going to give up that quickly?

-Or do we rally once more?  Do we show RC and FV that GH is not OLTL and we want our GH back?  More importantly, we WANT OUR JASAM BACK!!! Do we write twice as many letters now and make twice as many phone calls (remember to always be positive) to prove to them you don't mess with JaSam fans.  We are a large majority of their viewers and we want to see JaSam on our screens.  Do we keep the faith because this is has kept us going for this long?  There is still a baby out there and Heather's scheme will be figured out soon enough, right (Hopefully)?

So what would you do?  Honestly, after watching today's episode again I have some hope for JaSam. Granted, that hope isn't brimming to the top like it was say last year at this time but I still have some hope.   I know how ironic that last statement sounds but it is true.  Why break up this super couple when clearly they have such a great history?  Are they really headed for divorce or will Jason Junior be found soon and they reunite?  I am not sure the answer there.  Knowing how depressing this year has been I am guess NO.  But it is never a bad idea to hope - to hold on to hope.  Hope for a miracle and maybe just once it will work out.  Today if you take away the sadness here is where I saw hope. 
- Jason and Sam mentioned numerous times they still loves each other
- Sam could not bring herself to say the word divorce - Then maybe they should not be getting one
- Sam flip flopped hoping something would work like marriage counseling etc
- Sam never took off her ring and gave it back to Jason- she is still wearing her ring
- Sam told Jason he wasn't just her husband but her best friend. 
-That hug was no normal hug
- There was so much passion in that good-bye kiss -they can't be over for good
- The montage wasn't a farewell send off to all JaSam fans (though honestly felt a little like it at first) it was a message to not give up hope.  To keep fighting.

To watch it again and see what I am talking out here is today's JaSam clip
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdRkHJx24XQ&feature=g-u-u
Thank you SimplyGH for the clip

So make up your own mind on what you will do next.  But for me I will watch when Jason and Sam are on - holding on hope.  I will keep fighting and I will keep hopeful.  I will keep my chin up, maybe someday things will go our way.  I am not setting myself up for disappointment either, though.  I am realistic.  I realize this new regime has  their whole new plan and ideas but for now I am going to hold on.  Hold On to the hope that someday there will be happiness again for JaSam and JaSam fans. 

I admire the faithful

I admire the faithful fans who are still holding on and watching GH daily.  I appreciate your dedication to GH and am grateful to you.  Last year at this time we didn't know if GH was going to be on the air much long.  We rallied and wrote letters, we called daily we sent emails, we united against the EVIL ABC execs that looked to cancel GH.  We stood united and to much of our surprise and excitement, we won 1 more year of GH at least.  We did good! So if you were among those who fought congratulate yourself  for your efforts.  Be thankful to have been part of the front that saved GH for at least 1 more year.  Stand proud of that fact if nothing else. 
Sadly shortly after we learned GH was spared from the hatchet block we saw our amazing soap that had captivated us for all these years be blown apart and transformed into something we can hardly recognize.  So this is what we fought so hard to save?  Sure doesn't look the same as it used to.  Sure does seem like someone has taken everything we loved and set fire to it.  But we saved it none the less.  As I said before, be proud of that fact, we saved it.   Sometimes when you set up on a journey you don't know what the outcome is going to be but you do it anyway.   We didn't know what the future held for GH or our couple, but we set out to save GH and we did. 
I am mostly sad when I watch GH now (if I can watch it).  I feel a sadness that begins to take over.  It not only is a sadness but I am starting to accept that this is reality.  RC and FV appear to not be going on anywhere, nor do they appear to be listening to anything fans are saying.  They seem hell bent on changing GH so much no one can recognize it. 
It is with great sadness and regret I have to say, I am admire the faithful fans but I fear I am not one of them anymore.  I am not giving up completely but just taking a break for awhile from the show.  If GH gets back to 'normal' again I will return with gusto.  I will continue to watch when I can but I just don't have the passion I used to for the show.  I will continue to blog when I can as well and when there is something worth blogging about.  I want to hold on to rocky part of the ride until it smooths out but I have to be honest to say, it gets harder every day. 
But please don't let my negative perspective sway your opinion in anyway.  If you are faithful THANK YOU! PLEASE KEEP WATCHING KEEP THE FAITH AND KEEP FIGHTING.  Thank you!  I will continue to write my daily letters to RC and FV asking for change and will continue to write ABC reminding them GH is legend that needs to be spared.  I just can't watch the part where they will destroy JaSam before our eyes.  It will hurt too much to watch. 

Am I the Only One?

Am I the only one who recently has busied themselves with other actives in the afternoon other then tune into GH?  When I was in college several years ago I would try to plan my class and work schedule around GH just so I could watch it everyday.  Even now that I have a career and a family and plenty of other things to take my time up, I would still find time to watch GH.  Even if it meant watching it on my phone at the gym.  I used to look so forward to GH every day.  I used to record it on BOTH tivos so I could either watch it upstairs or down stairs depending on what was going on that day.  I used to sometimes watch it on the live feed first an hour earlier then it aired here just to see what was happening.  Oh my love for GH has been a long time love. 
But recently my love has been falling a bit short.  It seems like a year ago when JaSam got engaged that GH was really on top.  We were all watching and so excited about what would come next.  We were in bliss over the engagement.  Every board was a flurry of activity, everyone was watching.  I think about those days a lot lately.
Honestly it has been several weeks since I have even turned on GH and sat down to watch.  RC and FV have really changed our canvass as they had promised to do when they took over but I have to sometimes wonder if that change is for the better?  I miss my old GH.  The GH that was funny and clever and so addictive.  My addiction is clearly subsiding these days.
 We do have some amazing memories to hold on to though.  I know we have heard spoilers and rumors of even more sadness and wreckage headed Jason and Sam's way.    I just hope we all can hold on to watch before we completely lose our need for the addiction we have with GH.  I guess in the coming months we just need to hold tight to the memories.  Watch those shows in these coming months and remember how good GH was and how amazing our couple is and will be in the future.  They have a rough road to go down but I hope they come out stronger on the other side.  I am still hopeful.  I just hope everyone can hang on for this to play out. 
Right now I have to admit my faith fluctuates and my ability to sit through a whole show without either falling asleep or changing the channel is become a true reality these days.  But am I the only one?  Is anyone loving the writing and plot twists right now?  Maybe I am.  Maybe I need to look at things different but I just wonder if I am or not. 

Horrific Act

My local ABC station did not air GH today because for those of you who don't know, I live in Colorado.  Today, GH is probably one of the farthest things from all of our minds.  I do not live in Aurora but I do live in the Denver area.  Aurora is an eastern suburb.  Everyone in this state who flies out of DIA has driven through Aurora.  It is a large suburb that, honestly, has not been without its issues of crime and other issues that are in the local news here and there.  But overall is it not a violent place.  It is not a place you would think would ever have such a horrible crime take place.  I know people who live in Aurora, who raise their kids there and shop in the stores.  It is just another town, until now.  Until the midnight showing of a movie changed that city's history forever. 

I have lived in CO for 10 years. I moved here after Columbine but people still talk about it.  It is something we all know about.  We will never forget it.  I don't live in Littleton but every time I think about how that community has never completely healed and probably never will.  After I moved here there was a horrible high school hostage crisis near Conifer where one girl was killed and we all remember that too.   Every time something like this happens we always ask our self 'WHY?'.  It doesn't make sense why someone would do  this to so many people.  We can't comprehend it.  But it makes you realize life is fragile and fleeting.  It reminds you to focus on the big picture and be thankful for your loved ones.  It reminds you there are crazy people everywhere even in movie theaters and walking the halls of a local high school. 

The more I talk to people today in my northwest suburb the more I learn at least someone I know knows someone who either knew a victim or someone who was shot.  The number is up to 71 shot and 12 died and out of the 71 shot 16 in critical condition.  The numbers are frightening and horrifying .   I heard on the local news someone say they didn't live here during Columbine but they remembered the name of the shooters but not the victims. They wanted us to learn the name of the victims and remember them.  I encourage you to remember the names of victims not the shooter.  Don't give him the 15 minutes of fame he is looking for.  Don't glorify his act by giving him attention.  Think of the victims and think of their families.  Think of those mothers and fathers who won't ever hear from their teenage daughter or those families who went to the movies together and were trapped in the theater.  Think of the young, think of the old, think of all the ones in between.  I encourage you today to think of those lost and think of how we can prevent something like this happening again. 

Today take a break from GH, believe me it has been horrible to watch anyway.  GH is not what it used to be so today just take a break from it and all those other things that aren't truly important in the grand scheme of things.   Today think of the bigger picture.  We look to GH to escape, trust me today I wish there was a way to escape all this horror but we can't.  So think and remember and pray for a world where it is safe to go to the movies and go to high school and to walk down the street.  Pray for the families, friends and loved ones of these victims and hope for a brighter future. 

Can't See The Rest of My Life Without Him

It is a tough couple of weeks to be a JaSam fan lately hasn't it been? We get a little glimmer of hope and then the wind gets knocked out of our sails once again.  We really have to dig down deep for that courage and faith to keep on watching and fighting but I encourage you to do so.
I know most of you are selectively watching GH right now and trust me so am I.  I could not take the Jizzer kiss yesterday.  I had to FF thru it.  I wasn't crazy about the McBam kiss though either.  But to me it just looked like Calivia all over again.  I was really waiting for one of them to sprout fangs and go at each other like they used to.  The only chemistry McBam has is old left over vampire lust.  Don't get too upset.  RC is just screwing with us and also trying to maybe bring a few PC's fan back to GH.  That is all.  He is not stupid enough (I hope) to really make McBam a real item.  I am still not abandoning the connection they feel for each other to be one that they are siblings.   Or at least cousins.  I mean look back, Ethan and Lulu were kind of hot before they found out they were siblings too and I did love them chemistry.  So don't get too caught up in the idea of McBam.
Now for the idea of Jizzer 2.0 - Liz is  terrible with relationships.  She knows this, everyone knows this.  She also can't be "friends" with Jason.  She wants Jason that is true.  Jason only turns to her when he sees Sam with another man. So what does that make her? Sloppy Seconds? Possibly but Liz has worked very hard to keep her inner husband stealing, whore self under control in the past year.  So lets hope she has learned a few things like #1 - Jason only wants her as a stand in. #2 - Jason LOVES Sam no matter how much he tells her it is over.  #3 - RC is just trying to get some spikes in ratings from the Jizzer lovers he isn't stupid enough to try to re-invent Jizzer 2.0. 

Don't lose faith completely JaSam are not over.  Jason and Sam still love each other more then anything.  Though a lot has happened here is the truth:
#1 - RC really isn't stupid enough (and if he is Hell hath no furry like pissed off JaSam fans) to break Jason and Sam up for good.
#2 - Sam said it herself, 'I can't see Jason and I getting back together again.  But I also can't see the rest of my life without him'.  That is a big step today for Sam to admit this.  She loves Jason we all know that but she also is starting to take small steps back towards Jason.  Even though tomorrow she finds out Jason kissed Liz and might crush her even more.  The fact still remains she is starting to take small (okay extremely small but they are still there) steps back towards him.  
#3 - Heather is crazy and someone is going to figure her out very soon and that will mean JJ comes back and everything else will change.
#4 JJ is still alive.  There is still hope.

Don't give up.  I know it is hard! This is a really hard week.  But just try to grit your teeth and keep watching and keep speaking out for JaSam.  KEEP FIGHTING.  CALL, WRITE, EMAIL, FB, Tweet - DON'T GIVE UP! It would be so easy right now to give up.  Decide GH isn't worth your time  because let's face it RC has done a number to our couple and show.  But we have fought so hard for so long to keep GH on the air, do not give up now. Go to the root of the problem.  RC is writing all over the board.  He enjoys screwing with people and their characters.  Let your voice be heard.  Be positive and try to make it clear why you love GH.  Don't let the current mess of the story lines take away all those years you have faithfully watched.  Don't let him destroy your love for the show and your love for JaSam.

Needing a Friend

Lately the characters of GH have been keeping some unusually cast of characters as their friends.  Everyone seems to be all of a sudden be-friending people you would not find likely as real life friendships.  As RC works to stuff more of his OLTL pets into our GH canvas I am sure we will see more of this.  But for now lets just look at this unlikely cast of friends these days.
First we have Michael and Starr.  What would Abbey think of this? I kind of miss Abbey Haver some days.  She kept Micahel centered. But now Michael is more 'mature' and that is a relief because wow those were rough the last 16 yrs watching that character grow up.   Now if you get past the whole way Starr and Michael met, here is what I see: two extremely selfish, self absorbed brats of rich families and think they are entitled to everything.  Okay so maybe they would make a good pair of friends considering they appear to be cut from the same cloth. 

That brings us to another self centered character - Kristina - why did they bother bringing back her character? I mean Krissy is probably the most spoiled pain in the rear ever to grace GH besides her father and brother of course.  But now we have Krissy who has be-friended a TV producer who clearly has her best interests at heart.  There is clearly nothing but true friendship going on there - HA! I personally think this whole Krissy storyline is a waist of air time.  I liked Lexi as Krissy and I loved how she interacted with the Davis women.  This new Krissy is NO LEXI send her back from where she came from.

This bring us to the other weird friendship of Carly and Todd.  That just seems too random.  Why would Carly be friends with Todd???? If Carly was smart she would keep her distance.  Todd should go back to Landview or somewhere else, give Sam back her baby and take that crazy coo coo bird Heather with him. 

Now, of course is the Liz and Jason friendship.  Liz can't be friends with a man it is not in her DNA.  Every man in her history that she has been 'just friends' with somehow ends up father one of her brats.  I don't know what it is about her needy personality but she can't seem to keep any man she tries to be friends with out of her bed.  Eventually she lures them in manages to poke holes in every condom on the eastern seaboard and bam! 9 months later can't figure out who the father is of her kid.  She is just not capable of this and it is clear with Jason.  She is so hot for him it is hilarious to watch.  She is trying to be 'supportive' of his love for Sam and his problems but all the while she is trying to calculate how she is going to get him back.  We all know it.  She has put up a good front though.  I mean she was nice enough to Jason by listening and telling him to give Sam space.  But in the end that chick wants him badly and she is going to convince herself while he talks all about Sam, wears a wedding ring and confesses his love for Sam every minute of every day somehow he is really after her.  Poor Liz.  Can't they find this poor girl a man that actually wants Liz for Liz and doesn't want her to be their shoulder to cry on or just a stand in for someone else?  I feel for Liz and all but I hope RC realizes too that if he screws too much with JaSam he is going to get that show canceled because we will all stop watching.
Please hear me on that point, RC - Please be intelligent about your audience enough to know this, you can put us through a lot of JaSam angst and we will tolerate it but break them up for good and you are going to find you have very few viewers and fans left.  Let me be crystal clear on that one.

As for John and Sam's relationship it is clearly just platonic.  Sam needs a friend.  Sam has never been real good at keeping friends.  She was friends with Maxie when Maxie was Maxie but now we have NuMaxie and who the heck would want to talk to that whining sniveling mess.  Sam doesn't need a friend like that anymore.  Sam needs a friend and that is all John is to Sam, a friend.  She needs someone to listen and not judge her, offer suggestions or tell her what a great guy Jason is right now.  She needs someone to just listen.  She just lost her child and she thinks it is Jason's fault.  Her sole mate just  ripped her heart out and stomped on it.  So, yes, she needs a friend that has no connection to Jason.  Since partially every female in PC that she isn't related to has either slept with Jason or is related to him, naturally she needs a friend from the outside of town.   I know we have a McBAM kiss coming up but just remember to take that news with a grain of salt.  Not all spoilers turn out to be as clear as they are written once on screen.  KEEP THE FAITH! I for one think it will be a mistake and misunderstanding and quickly dismissed.  DON'T READ TOO MUCH INTO THE BS, KEEP THE FAITH!!!
Write and keep the faith to GH.  Let RC know your love for GH and your love for JASAM!  Don't lose your head now! Keep calm and keep focused.  Jason and Sam are sole mates.  They belong together and it is not 2007 all over again. 

Do Not Stand At My Grave And Cry

"Do not stand at my grave and weep" by Mary Elizabeth Frye
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die

This poem was first written in 1932 by Mary Elizabeth Frye  but many versions of this poem have been read at funerals for almost 70 years.  It is sometimes referred to as the funeral poem.  It was so fittingly selected for the poem for today's show and focus. When you experience a loss of this proportion no words can express your pain but some words can bring some comfort.   This poem reminds its readers that the person they mourn did not die because they live on in their memories and hearts.  Life does not end with death. 

Of course we know Sam's baby didn't die at all which makes this poem slightly ironic but all the same it made a perfect backdrop for our couple to talk today.

Last week I was pretty bitter about GH.  I was ready to write the whole thing off.  I felt like it was 2007 all over again but instead of Sam being the bad guy this time it was Jason. I stopped watching then for 2 years and I was ready to give up on the show after 25+ years of watching again. .  I was angry and soooo  frustrated about how this whole storyline had played out.  I wanted to call RC and tell him how he and ruined everything.  How he stole our baby story, how he wrecked a perfect couple, how he had ruined my perfect show.  I was really angry.  This past weekend I was so angry I almost removed this blog.  I was ready to write a signing off letter of absolute disgust  with the whole show.  I know I am not alone I know there are some of you out there that feel the same way.  But luckily I read some more positive views on the current story line at hand on various message boards that are a little more pro JaSam then pro Jizzer.  I also read some very insightful comments to past blogs I have written from some of you that reminded of me to look at things in a different perspective and try to see the positive. 

So thanks to many of you who read my blog, I am back and going to try to look at things in a positive light.  In 2007 a lot of people hated Sam for what she did to Jake.  That is when Jizzers became Jizzers.  But honestly (and the next few comments were posted by Lara a reader and GH fan ) maybe RC is actually a Sam fan.  Maybe he is trying to right what once went wrong with Sam's character.   Sam did nothing wrong in any of this. She was raped and had all of this happen to her but she is no victim she is doing her best to cope.  But Jason was the one that chose to be jealous over McBain then to actually be a mature adult about things and set this whole thing into motion.  Jason is no angel and never has been but RC showed that jealousy can cause even previously-thought-to-be-perfect Jason do things without thinking and out of jealousy. It even had some Jizzers thinking, "whoa if Jason can do this to Sam maybe we don't want him with Liz." RC showed the flip side of the coin and showed perfect Jason is far from perfect.  Jason keeps saying he didn't have time to think and process what happened but now he has time and he regrets so much.  But what is important is what Jason does now and going forward. 

Today Jason took a big step in being Jason again.  Today it took everything in Jason not to pull Sam into his arms to comfort her.  He wanted to but he knew that would scar her off.  Today Sam didn't scream at Jason in angry but actually allowed him to help her just a little.  They were honest with each other and took the first teeny tiny step in healing.  Today Sam let Jason comfort her a little.  He knows more then anyone the pain she is feeling right now. He knows how much Sam wanted to be a mother always.  She didn't have to pretend to be holding it together with Jason.  She could just be there.  Sam reached out for Jason as she read the poem.  She needs him but she just isn't sure she can forgive him but deep down she wants to.  But there is the honest fact that her child died (or so she knows it to be fact) and she can't move past Jason's role in all of it.  Not just yet.  I think the reason Sam ran away today was it was too much too quick.  She is still grieving and trying to breathe on breath at a time.  She can't think of how to move forward with Jason yet.  She loves him and he loves her.  There is so much love between them but there is also so much hurt.  Hurt can't be swept under the rug or just put on a shelf.  Jason poured his heart out today and he showed Sam he wanted her home with him.  But she isn't ready for that yet.  She needs to grieve and she is afraid if she moves back in with Jason it will all just be forgotten.  'So much has happened' and that is true.  Jason was MIA on Sam and looked at her so differently knowing that she was carrying Franco's baby.  You can't just forget that.  Nor can she just forget that the baby died because he did not get medical attention.  Jason did pour his heart out today and try to prove to Sam he is ready to stop focusing on the wrong things but it is going to take more then that to fix this. 

Best Quotes of the day
Jason to Sam: No matter what has happened, I am still your husband.  So come home with me.
Jason to Sam: I know how much we have hurt each other, but  I still love you and I think you love me too, come home, come home.
Sam to Jason: I promised I would love you forever and I will
Sam to Jason: Like nothing ever happened?
Jason to Sam: It happened but we can move on from it together, please just tell me you are willing to try.

Keep watching and keep the faith.  Keep reminding me to do the same.  Don't give up yet.  This summer may prove to really test our patience but I am going to try to stay positive this time and try to remember JaSam are the reason we watch and lets keep supporting them.

Reality Setting In

If you have ever experienced a loss or a tragedy of a large magnitude you often find yourself asking yourself this question, how did this happen? You also hope that this tragedy hasn't happened somehow, that this is a horrible dream and you will wake up soon and it will all be over.  However, slowly and sadly reality sets in.

For Sam today she felt reality set in.  She woke to a cold hospital room and with empty arms for a second time.  To wake up and know you have lost your child once is gut wrenching and horrible but to have to do it twice.  I can't even imagine.  Sam is justified to ask questions and she is justified to be angry - very angry.  Why did this happen again?! How did this even happen?  The baby was alive and then he wasn't.  Why didn't John come back?  Sam is no dummy she knows something delayed John.  She knows John pretty well and he wasn't about to just leave her here why did he just not come back?  Sam is very sharp (do you hear that RC?!?) and she is a PI it is only going to take Sam about a nano second once leaving the hospital to start piece things together.  Jason is the reason John didn't come back.  It is Jason's fault that her baby was switched.  That part is true.  Jason better be smart and tell Sam before someone else does because if he doesn't hell hath no fury Jason Morgan!

Sam and Jason have had a rough road of marriage so far.  They love each other but she lied to Jason to protect him about Robin then about the whole Franco's your brother and the baby's father deal.  But NONE of those lies caused a baby to die.  NONE of those lies resulted in a death (or so Jason knows at least).  Here are the facts Jason has to come to terms with and it is only the facts.
1.  Jason could not forgive himself enough to love Sam's baby
2.  Jason decided to be jealous over John McBain instead of try to work things out with Sam
3.  Jason hired the thugs
4.  Jason's realization that he could love the child because he loves Sam was just a little too late to matter

The truth is, yes Sam has lied a lot since the rape.  But she was raped and trying to make sense of things and protect Jason.  Jason had no reason except pure jealous to have those thugs go after John.  Jason, of course, didn't know Sam had just had her baby and that  he would be the cause for all of this pain.  But Jason did hire those thugs.  Something Sam did back in 2007 and he was completely enraged by her jealousy but yet he did it anyway.  Jealousy and anger make people to crazy things, don't they, Jason?  Welcome to reality Jason.  You now know you are capable of causing the worst kind of pain.  You would not forgive Sam for knowing Jake was kidnapped and hiring thugs, so why should she forgive you when you are the reason her baby "died"?  How's the shoe fit you now that it is on your foot Jason?

Sam is completely justified in being upset with Jason today. I loved how she got angry over Jason bringing up Carly.  Jason was trying to tell her he loved that baby too and that he wanted to be with her and be a part of the family but he didn't get a chance to.  I hope he gets a chance to but Sam has every right to be angry and upset.  I really hope Sam can forgive Jason but I would understand her not being able to - realistically speaking. 

I really hope Sam and Jason come thru this whole mess stronger and more in love then ever.  I hope he believes her when she says she knows her son is still alive.  I hope he has faith in her and fights like hell for their love the way Sam has always fought for Jason. 
Do you hear that RC??? - Jason loves Sam and he needs to fight for her! The true JaSam fight for each other and tell the truth! Stop changing who they are!. 

It is what it is

I have to admit I have started and deleted this post several times.  Friday Sam gave birth to her baby.  I viewed this with my own level of frustration.  This is not how I wanted this to happen but it is what it is.  I was frustrated because this is not how I wanted to whole thing to play out.  I never wanted the baby's paternity to be in question nor did I want this pregnancy to be so absent of any happiness.  I wanted Jason to be there and help Sam deliver her baby.  I wanted Jason to confess he loved this baby no matter what months ago.  But it is what it is.  So in order of what Jason and Sam are always saying, we too need to stop looking back, we can not change the past.  We can not change what has happened, what is important is what we do now going forward.

So let's move forward - even if it is painful and hard at times.  So lets focus on the good as hard as it might be.  Friday Sam gave birth to a darling baby boy on Friday.  He was prefect in every way.  His entrance was dramatic but all the same this is a soap opera what are the chances of a normal delivery.  Of course we know he is Jason's biological son and Heather messed with the DNA test, we were reminded by the fact the baby looks exactly like Jason.  This is the child we have all wanted for the last 8 years so lets just enjoy the fact he is here.  Ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes, big blue eyes and the trace of blonde hair he is the baby we have waited for.  Here he is.  Much like most of real life fantasies about our future children, this didn't happen the way we planned exactly.

Today Jason finally came around, Jason finally realized what we have all realized for so long.  He finally realized that he loves Sam and this baby is part of her so he loves this child already.  Jason also finally called this child 'my son'.  Too bad this all came at a price that Jason was the root cause of.  If Jason had never pushed Sam away, should would have never moved out, she would have never go into labor with John being the only person there, John would not have been her only ride the hospitial and she would never had wondered off and collapsed.  However, it is what it is.  Today's show was horrifying to me.  First, Tea's baby is really not alive which I really find upsetting that we have yet another dead baby storyline.  I just find this type of storyline over done.  Secondly, Sam collapses trying to find the baby help and evil Heather is right there to trade off Sam's baby to anyone who is passing by.  It was horrifying that this are the twists in the plot line.  But it is what it is.  The good part is Jason is ready to be part of this family and is ready to fight for them.  Though today I was glad John kind of made it clear to Jason his lack of interest in Sam until now might be part of the reason she has been having such a hard time so far.     I hope this baby doesn't stay with Tea long.  I do feel for Tea and her loss but Sam should get to a mother to her own child's mother.  I really hope that part wraps up soon and Jason and Sam can be happy soon.  I am ready for Jasam happiness it has been a really long time since we got it.  Keep the faith even if it is HELL at a times.  Jason and Sam will be happy again I really hope.

I Still Believe in Fairy Tales

I still believe in fairy tales and pixie dust and all that stuff, do you?  Fairy tales are the types of things that creates hope for us all and keeps us going when we think there is no chance we can make it.  So why would you not believe in hope?  When we are children we believe it all and we believe in magic so why do we change our minds as we age?  We see the bitter reality of the world and let that haze cloud our view of magic and fairy tales but they still exist and every once in a while they come true.  So don't give up hope.  Never give up hope and never stop believing in magic.  Just remember sometimes magic and hope come in a much different form then you expect them to.

Molly is the classic example of a child with hope and belief in magic and unicorns.  Today she reminded Sam that magic is something worth fighting for and that love can last and survive if only you have faith.  Sam and Jason are worlds apart right now and right now the world really does seem to be devastating for them.  But Molly hasn't given up hope so why should we? If Molly can still see the fairy tale in all of this, maybe we should listen to her.  Children are sometimes the most wise and insightful of us all - so don't discount Molly or think she is just foolish.  Perhaps, just perhaps, Molly is the wisest of them all. 

Jason loves Sam more then anything.  Jason is afraid that when he sees this child he will just be reminded of how his love failed Sam and he failed to save her.  Jason doesn't know how to deal with this.  Jason doesn't know what to do because he can't come to peace with the fact he failed Sam.  Jason is so torn because he can't come to terms with any of this.  The truth is Jason needs someone to talk to just as bad as Sam does.  Maybe he should talk to Ewan or someone else to figure it out.  But the truth is Jason is pushing Sam away because he feels he is not worthy of her love or her child.  Yes, you read that correctly.  The truth is Jason isn't worthy of Sam's love but he has it anyways.  So he needs to find a way to come to terms with this and let the past be the past.  He wants to love this baby so badly but he isn't sure he can.  Jason is playing the victim right now seeking advice from Elizabeth which may or may not have less then innocent motives.  Jason needs to get past that and remember he wasn't the one that was harm and the only thing that matters is how he handles things now.  How he decides to move forward is all that matters now.

  The victim here is not only Jason or Sam but it is this child that hasn't even been able to breathe yet.  I can't believe that Jason would let this child that is Sam's face the world without him and be the cause of so much pain for it's mother.  I have a hard time believing Jason will hurt Sam that much. 

Sam is just trying to do what is right by her child because no matter who is the father she is the mother.  This is her only chance at motherhood.  She knows this and loves this child with her whole heart.  That is all this child needs in life is the love of it's mother.  This child will grow up knowing its mother loves it and protected it for 9 months.  This child will have a few amazing aunts and a wonderful grandmother.  So luckily this child can grow up to believe in fairy tales and in pixie dust and all that magical stuff.  That is Sam's hope at least is that she will do everything for her child so it can grow up to be like Molly and believe in magic.  Sam isn't so sure about her future with Jason because she knows the bitter realities of life and all her hopes for a happy ending have been broken.  But she still loves Jason and always will and in that she holds on to her own kind of belief in magic.  As small as that belief is - it is still there too. 

So even if your shed of hope is small and you have monstrous doubts, don't completely give up on magic, hope and fairy tales.  Things will look up soon for JaSam I have faith. 

Doing the Right Thing

Sometimes doing the right thing for yourself  is one of the hardest things you ever have to do. Sometimes the right things seems impossible to do.  Other times doing the right thing is pretty easy to do.  Sometimes we do the right thing but we don't even realize we are doing the right thing until much farther down the road. 

Sam doing the right thing today was pretty hard to swallow but I agree, she did the right thing for herself and the baby.  She walked out on Jason because she wanted to give him space.  She wanted him to have time to think about everything that has happened and didn't want to remind him of Franco.  Maybe with Sam gone Jason can finally get a clear picture of how horrible he has been to her lately.  Jason told Sam he didn't think of her as "tainted" but that is how he made her feel.  Sam was raped and now is faced with the fact the baby she is carrying and loves is the rapist's.  That is a horrible thing to go through but instead of supporting her and telling her he loves her without a doubt and this baby - Jason has pushed her away.  He has made her feel like it was her fault.  He has caused her to doubt everything about herself.  So instead of Sam being weak and deciding to take this doubt and pain Jason is dishing out, she did what was right for HER.  She should not be with someone who can't love the baby she is carrying that she already loves.  This baby is a part of Sam so for Jason to say he isn't sure he can love this child is essentially Jason saying he can not love her completely either.  Sam was raped - Jason was not.  If she can love this child and not think about how it was conceived then Jason should be able to do the same knowing how much he loves Sam.  But instead of loving her and supporting her and being her source of strength he has become her source of pain.  Therefore, leaving him to think is the best thing she can do.  There is no doubt Sam loves Jason and Jason loves Sam.  But unless he can be supportive she doesn't need the constant pain and stress of being around him is causing.

Jason says to Sam it is not her fault that she is carrying a child that is not his but deep down you can't help feel like he is blaming her for some of this. But lets look at Jason's side of things for a minute.   Jason has had an incredibly painful few days.  He was so excited to be a father again and to maybe get fatherhood right this time with this child.  He took the photo from the ultrasound and carried it with him everywhere he went.  He finally had the greatest love of his life with him and they were having a baby together.  This is a dream of Jason's that he has had for 8 years and pretty much his whole life.  Sam is his home she is his everything and this child was created out of their love for one another.  But then that was all taken from him in a blink of an eye.  He has lost his child all over again.  The pain of losing a child is so deep and painful and now he has to live that all over again.  He has also found out not only is the child his wife is carrying not his but that the baby is his twin brother's who raped her.  Oh and lets not forget that twin brother is someone he just killed a few months back because he was a psycho.  And to top it all off he had to basically drag the truth out of his wife and find out she had confided in someone who is trying to take down your organization and appears to be targeting his wife's vulnerability to do so.  Instead of Sam walking away from John McBain she told him personal details of their life.  But none of that really hurts as much as finding out that the baby he loved is not his and the betrayal he feels because of it.   While in his head he knows Sam was raped by Franco it is still extremely hard to wrap his heart around that she is not carrying his baby.  On some level he is so angry it almost seems he is blaming her but it is not her fault and he knows this logically he just isn't thinking logically.  All she is asking him is to support her through this pregnancy and love the child he loved a week ago.  But for Jason he can't do this, at least not yet.  Somewhere deep down he appears to be blaming Sam for being raped and for being pregnant and until he can let go of that anger and blame - he needs to be alone to figure this out for himself.  Jason has had a lot thrown at him and yes, he could be handling things differently but at least he is being honest with Sam now. 

Honesty is what Jason and Sam have built their entire lives on together.  Today they were finally being honest with each other and it seemed to drive them farther apart or did it? Today Jason finally was honest and told Sam he isn't sure how he feels right now.  That words were like flaming daggers into Sam's heart.  But Sam did the right thing for herself and her baby.  She took them out of the equation and all that was left to sit and think was Jason.  Sam leaving (while it being very painful to watch) was probably the best way for Jason to realize how much Sam matters to him and how much he already loves this baby.  I have faith he will figure this out very soon.  Jason lost faith in their love when he started doubting Sam - Sam still believes their loves is stronger then anything in this world.  It's time Jason remembers it too.  Sam leaving will let Jason remember this.

Keep writing and keep faith.  JaSam will weather this storm and come out the other side stronger.

Still Holding On

I as a fan of General Hospital am still holding on to hope that someday very soon the head writers will hear our voices and understand why we love GH.  I am thankful GH has been allowed to stay on the air another year.  I am very grateful ABC has realized it's fanbase is huge and loyal to it's soap.  I am hopeful that GH has a long bright future ahead of it. 
I won't lie though, I have been frustrated beyond belief lately with GH and it's current storylines.  Not all are bad.  I actually like crazy Connie and the plan she had.  That was great finally someone stuck it to Sonny.  I like the story lines of Luke and Tracy - I can not stop loving watching those two on screen and their flare for drama and comedy.  I have so enjoyed the return of Anna and what she brings to the show.  I generally ignore Lulu and Dante but even their story line has been interesting now that we know Ronnie is the bad guy.
But as a faithful JaSam fan I am beyond outraged sometimes when I watch GH.  To be honest I haven't been watching GH everyday faithfully because of it.  Sometimes I feel like it is 2006-2007 all over again and that is when I stopped watching GH for 2 years and would not have come back if I hadn't seen a promo about the JaSam reunion in the works.  I really hope for GH's sake history is not repeating it's self.  Last time GH lost a  lot of fans this time I think GH would lose everything.
So I am trying to hold on to hope, as hard as that can be at times.   Hope that Jason and Sam will weather all these latest set backs and rise above it.  Hope that Jason will begin to understand Sam never kept the truth from him to hurt him but to try to make it easier for him.  Hope that Jason will remember his wife was brutally raped and she never got a chance to deal with it before the crisis of everything else set it and she needs to find a way to deal with it.  Hope that Sam gets help from someone she can trust and being to allow herself to open up to Jason again.  I believe the reason Sam has been opening up to John so much (besides the fact she is his long lost sister) and not Jason right now is because she wants to spare Jason the pain she is feeling.  She admitted it  months ago to Michael she wanted to talk to Jason about the rape every time she did he just got so angry and then he started blacking out, having head aches etc.  So she decided then and there she had to deal with all of this on her own.  Even though Jason's health has improved she still isn't sure what she can tell him because he gets so angry.  Therefore, Sam has to find someone else to talk to - queue long lost brother John McBain.  John is not a threat to Jason and Sam's marriage (for th most part) Sam loves Jason with her whole heart and Jason loves Sam.  The real threat to this marriage is Jason's angry and inability to just let Sam confide in him without getting angry.  I thought Liz said it quite well yesterday (yes I actually agree with Liz and liked her comment for once).  Liz said, just because Sam isn't being honest with Jason it didn't mean he didn't need to be honest with Sam.  Jason needs to stop acting like the victim here and realize Sam is going through absolute hell right now and has no support (from him) and feels the whole thing is her fault (including the rape).  John is the only one supporting Sam the only one telling her this isn't all her fault the only one telling her what she needs to hear right now. Of course she is going to continue to confide in John because Jason is too upset and angry to talk to now.  Jason needs a good scare and realize Sam is not the enemy here.  She has done nothing wrong besides try to figure out how to handle everything that has happened to her the best way she knows how.  Sam is a survivor and always has been.  Sam will survive if Jason decides he can not raise this child.  She will love this child no matter what but can Jason survive without Sam? ......The answer -NO! I believe soon he will realize this soon he will realize Sam is his whole world and he needs to fight for her.  Fight for this marriage and fight for this child.  I hope he does it soon because they deserve to be happy and we have had so little happiness for them this year and last other then their actual wedding. 
So please help me remember to be positive when I see HORRIBLE spoilers out there and help me to remember to keep faith in GH and JaSam.  Help by writing letters and sending emails to GH to let them know we love JaSam and they are the reason we watch.  Keep positive in those correspondences -remember you can catch a lot more flies with honey then vinegar.
But if you need to vent, I TRULY understand and I invite you to use the chat box here on this site for it.  I won't kick anyone out for being honest, unless you are a liason fan and are being difficult.   I know it is hard to look at things in a positive light right now.  I understand and invite you to express your frustrations here if you need to and so you don't get kicked off other fan sites that are just so damn happy right now. 

Pro Con Con Pro

When I was in college I was in a sorority, when ever addressing something we were told we need to do the 'Pro Con Con Pro' method.  This meant bring up a good point with a bad and end on a good note.  This is actually a very good life lesson for any situation.  I use it all the time in my professional world and even with my parenting style. 
Pro:
One of the things I have always loved about GH is it wasn't your classic soap.  It had semi-realistic story lines, it veered away from the supernatural like people being posed by the devil  (DOOL) or vampires (that was PC not GH).  GH veered away from the split personalities and other cliche story lines that have given soaps a less then favorable name in TV history.
Con:
However, now that we have a new writing regime, all bets are off and we often tune into our beloved show trying to find traces of what the show used to be. Let's see since this new arrival of the HW we have:
- a split personality
- a dead Robin (who isn't really dead but she'll be hanging out in that bed probably for the next 14 months at least)
- we are stuck with "Maxie" and no chance of Kirsten Storms return
- a complete invasion of OLTL characters taking over the canvas
- a new show format and opening unrecognizable from what it used to be
- lets not forget - a vampire walking around saying he is a cop but give it time folks and McBain is going to be sprouting fangs and flying around at night checking out the catacombs 
- a promise to shake things up between our favorite couple which is turning out to meaning rehashing stupid storylines and not doing anything we enjoy much
-a pregnancy that is only going to last 5 months instead of 9
-Sonny is on trail AGAIN

Con:
Sometimes when I watch I feel like GH is turning into a show we can't even recognize let along watch and entire episode of.  I really don't enjoy many of the current story lines and struggle with the logic in a lot of it.  I keep trying to hold on to what we love so much and has entertained us for years.  GH has been through many writers and many changes over the years and we have watched ever faithful and hopeful for the future.  So why change now?  Why stop watching and hoping? What is stopping us?

Pro:
I know what you are thinking, GH is turning into OLTL 2.0 and the HW is determined to fuse the two shows.  I also was never a fan of OLTL because I could not get into the story lines.  They drug on for years and got boring and dry and I would turn it off laughing at how hokey some of the story lines were.  Some days I wonder if RC is determined to get GH canceled but why would anyone want to kill the last remaining soap on ABC?  Why would anyone want to be known as the killer of not 1 but 2 shows.  It would be extremely hard for him to find work knowing he is the guy that can get a show canceled in no time flat.  So maybe he is not trying to get GH cancelled after all.  Maybe he is trying to save it and has been told he needs to shake things up and see if it pulls in new viewers.  Maybe he has good intentions and we should tune in and support our show.  He is doing somethings good.  Things are moving faster with him as HW then in the past.  I loved GW but he did have an issue with timing.  Things moved slowly and days went on for weeks with GW.  Story lines are eventful right now.  He did bring back some classic characters like Anna, Holly, Heather, Robert and Drake Senior and have plans for others to make return visits.  Even if it was brief they came back it was wonderful to see them. Maybe this is what it will take to keep GH on the air. 

So here is my advice, keep watching and find out what happens next.  I know many of us are on boards, have facebook accounts and twitter and sometimes want to vent our frustrations.  I encourage you do to so especially if it helps you feel better about the show.  But remember what you write and say is out there is for everyone to see so I encourage you to make sure you say something positive about GH as much as you say something negative.  Use the pro con con pro method - just try it. You can get your frustrations out without playing into the haters hands out there. 

Now to talk about GH lately. Why is everyone listening to crazy people around Port Charles lately? Also why is everyone a bit crazy these days on GH?

Kate/Connie get crazier by the minute.  Connie has a purpose but does Kate?  I mean I think I like Connie better then Kate.  Connie is a hoot and she's apparently the person to have around when you need to shoot someone.  Maybe Sonny should hire Connie as his next enforcer instead of Jason.  Jason needs to get out of the business and Connie sure is a clear shot with a hand gun but not the best at disposing of the weapon. She'll need to work on that to be a mob enforcer but I see this in her future.

Let's take Heather Webber for instance now.  Heather is certifiable - literally yet we are going to take what she has to say as the truth about Jason and Franco being twins??  Even if they are twins, the fact that Sam's baby could be Franco's is still not possible.  The DNA test showed the baby shares genetic marks with Jason.  Jason and Franco were fraternal twins so they don't share the same DNA the way identical twins do.  Not to mention Heather is CRAZY in every sense of the word.  She is locked up for life in a mental institute of course she is going to screw with people just for pure entertainment value alone.  Here is my theory either Heather is Franco's mother (would explain the whole crazy thing).  OR Franco knew raping Sam would send Jason over the edge.  He knew Jason would kill him for this.  So Franco found out where Jason was born.  He took that page of the birth record.  He then went to Heather Moore offering her money or something she wanted she gave him the footage of that baby he then told her the story to tell Sam or Jason when they came looking.  He knew by then it would be dead. He even made it easy for Jason to find him to kill him because by then he had his affairs in order and had the whole game set to play out.  He also knew Sam was pregnant and he is the one who planted the seed he could be the father. Eventually it will come out that Franco wasn't Jason's twin.  Heather will tell the true story eventually once she gets what she wants.
Sam is far to sharp and logical to fall for this once she sees the reality of this.  Sam is the strongest character on GH and the smartest, she needs to be written true to character.  Sam's true character will see this is some crazy old bitty trying to screw with everyone who has been paid off by Franco.  Sam is a PI for God's sake she is trained to look at things logically.  She needs to take her emotion out of the picture here and look at the facts.  Also Jason needs to stop yelling at his pregnant wife and realize this poor woman has been through absolute hell in the past 5 months.  She is going to be clingy a bit because no sooner did she get raped then found out she was pregnant possibly with the devil's baby then Jason nearly dies.  Then Robin does die trying to save Jason.  YES she is going to be a bit delicate right now.  Not to mention she is pregnant and the last time she lost her baby so she is naturally going to need additional support.  It is about time Jason starts giving it to her and stop worrying about Sonny.  Let the sucker fry I say.  Sonny didn't do this crime but he has done enough in the past to make up for this.  I want Jason and Sam to be focused on the baby.  We have waited 8 years for this, I want to see the doctor visits, Jason listening to the baby's heart beat, watching the ultra sound.  I want him to FUSS over Sam like never before.  I WANT THAT JASON!

The Fall Out

It was quite a busy Monday today on GH.  Today Maxie lost her mind in Port Charles, Connie bubbled to the surface and Sonny actually didn't realize that chick is crazier then he'll ever hope to be, Carly did something unforgivable and Anna learned of Patrick's affair.

Maxie spewed through the church confessing to one crime after another none of which she committed but I think she lost her freaking mind.   I really wasn't feeling the scenes but all the same, Maxie is going to have quite the extended stay at Shady Brook at the rate she is going.

Anna learned as a result of Maxie's breakdown, that her favorite and only son-in-law was not perfect.  Had Anna learned about Patrick's affair and Robin still be alive would be one thing.  But on the day of her daughter's funeral is an entirely different thing.  The shock of this news was so upsetting for her because she wasn't there for Robin too much but thought Patrick was perfect....reality flash Anna - no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes.  Anna, who dealt with her own husband who cheated on her should know this.  But Anna is a black and white person so to find out Patrick cheated was most upsetting for her.  Then he had to tell her about Lisa and her actions.

 Johnny is such an amazing character sometimes.  No one can tell it like it is like Johnny sometimes.  Carly's intentions seemed sincere at first when she told Jason but once Carly arrived at Johnny's her true colors and intentions came out.  Carly used this news about Robin to try to cause a problem  between Jason and Sam.  What an unbelievable, manipulative, callas, cold hearted evil witch.  Carly confessed this to Johnny.  Why does everyone feel the need to confess things to Johnny I don't know but I love how Johnny likes to slap them with a dose of reality.  He even saw (hardly knowing Sam) that her intentions were not controlling or malicious, but were because Jason wasn't in the medical condition to handle anything let alone finding out his first love died trying to save him.   Johnny was able to point out to Carly that SHE is the one who has a problem with all the other women in Jason's life NOT Sam.  I am so GLAD Johnny was able to say what we all have wanted  o say to Carly. 

So Carly dropped the bomb on Jason and he was so angry.  Jason just found out his first love is dead and that Sam kept it from him to keep him safe.  Naturally Jason was angry and felt betrayed that Sam didn't tell him.  Sam knew that was the risk of keeping the truth from Jason she even admitted it to Carly.  So Carly used that to make the situation 10000 times worse then it could have been.  Jason said he wasn't angry that Sam lied about it the night of the explosion but what he was most angry about was that she kept lying.  Okay Jason lets play a game of put yourself in her shoes.  Jason would have done ANYTHING to keep Sam safe when she was shot even lying to her and telling her he could not love her anymore because it meant she could die.  He thought by hurting her so badly she could not think straight that it was okay because at least she was alive.  Jason also lied to Sam when he began to get headaches a few years back to not worry her and he ended up breaking her heart then too.  Jason didn't tell Sam about his current medical condition until Sam basically had to pry it out of him because he didn't want to worry her or cause her anymore stress since she has had to deal with so much.  EVEN NOW - Jason didn't tell Sam ANYTHING about him asking Spinelli to look into the baby video more because he didn't want Sam to worry .  Stress wasn't good for the baby.....Well gee Jason,  what do you think the stress of watching you nearly die AGAIN for the 18th time then having to keep Robin's death a secrete out of fear it might kill you being doing to Sam right now?  I get Jason just lost Robin and she was an extremely important person in Jason's life.  He is in shock and today when he said maybe Carly knew him better then Sam was just the grief talking and a way to hurt Sam because he wants someone else to hurt right now like he hurts.  But really, Jason, you need to realize Sam in not the enemy here nor is she the reason Robin died.  The reason Robin is dead Jason, is because she thought your life was worth saving because she was a noble and caring doctor.  Jason will come around soon and realize Sam didn't do this to hurt Jason.  She told him why she did it.  She was honest with him at the church.  She was desperate to keep him  alive and she didn't want Robin's sacrifice to be in vein.  Sam respected Robin and was Patrick's friend, why on earth would she wish for this to happen?

I don't know if tomorrow's show will be a continuation of today's show or not, but if it is I hope Sam turns and walks out of the church.  I hope she just leaves Jason to deal with his grief and let him realize what a freaking incredible self-centered jerk he is being.  But Sam will want to make it right, she'll want Jason to understand why she did what she did.  That will only escalate things and Jason will walk out of the church leaving Sam there to cry and feel like the worse person ever. He'll go to the bridge where he will run into Liz and they will talk about Jake and Robin. They will talk about both deaths NOT their relationship and if anything I bet Liz will actually defend Sam's actions to Jason and remind him Carly is always out to prove a point and cause trouble.   Sam will stay at the church beating herself up for being such a terrible person begging God to let Jason forgive her, queue John McBain (aka Caleb).  They will have some weird connections (aka their past lives desire to turn all of PC's into vampires) and hopefully Jason will get jealous.  Hopefully Jason will realize that Sam is a beautiful, amazing person who chose to spend her life with Jason because she loves him more then anything but that every guy in town would give anything to be with her.  She chose to be with Jason, he should feel HONORED.  Hopefully John can help remind Jason what he has.  Sam will feel the need to explain herself yet again which, BTW,  she should not have to apologize for ANY of her actions here.  Sam was raped on her honeymoon but instead of throwing that in Jason's face that he could not save her, she tried to deal with it all on her own, then right in the mists of dealing with that she finds out she is pregnant and the paternity is in question, then she finds out Jason only to find out right about the same time that Jason is having serious issues with his brain again.  She has shouldered all of this stress without batting an eye because she loves Jason and would go through it all if it meant she got to be with Jason.  AND NOW he wants to be a jerk because she was trying to protect him?!?! Oh Jason, you have so much to learn about love.

The Truth Always Comes Out

Sam would die to protect Jason.  Sam would give her life for Jason in a heart beat.  She would not even think twice about it.  So why wouldn't she hold the truth about Robin far from Jason before she is ABSOLUTELY sure Jason can handle it.  Sam is running around frantic trying to protect Jason by baring Carly and everyone from saying a thing.  She'll do anything to protect him even if it means doing something that might make him resent her for life.  But he has to understand (and he will in time) that she was only trying to protect him and keep him safe.  Sam is being very true to her character right now because she would walk thru fire for Jason.  Sam would easily give her own life just to keep him safe. Jason will see that eventually.

In the meantime, he is going to get so mad and angry with her.  Sam is doing something Jason has done for her in the past.  She was angry when he made decisions for her too.  However, the difference here is Sam was told any stress would kill Jason and this terrified her to the core.  Jason will lash out at Sam and I fear he will unload on her but this will be the grief talking.  In time Sam will also know this is just the grief talking. 

Carly is no doubt the worst person tell Jason about Robin.  But after reading twitter I was afraid I would only want to scream after watching.  However, Carly wasn't as awful as I thought she could be.  Yes, she whined and whined how she was banned etc.  AND she did tell Jason Sam has been lying to him for days.   But at least the truth is out now.  Jason knows.  I do hate Carly sometimes.  She didn't even bother to check on Jason's condition before she dropped the bomb knowing it was the type of news that could kill him. But that is Carly! So true to her character she decided to jump in there and tell Jason.  But the truth is out. 

Now that the truth is out, it will need to be dealt with.  But it is out just the same.  I always hear that saying 'the truth will set up free'.  Free isn't exactly the term I would use here.  But the truth will come out eventually and when it does life can move on.  Life can move forward, forward for good or forward for the worst but it will move forward.  So at least the storyline will move forward and this is what we want.  Things to move forward.  

Life will move forward for everyone ...well except for Robin.  Robin is gone.  Her funeral was heart breaking and all of the flashbacks were so beautiful and amazing.  So much classic footage of an amazing 30 years with Robin.  A true tribute to Robin and it was wonderful and so sad to watch.  But the funeral also gave everyone closure so that lives can begin to move forward.  When someone dies young it makes us all angry and the story lines surrounding Robin's life will most likely touch on this.  But hopefully it will also touch on the fact sometimes death makes you realize how to live life to the fullest.  How to be grateful for it all and to see the beauty in getting to live everyday.  I hope Jason also realized and eventually gets to this point too and is grateful he and Sam are having a child and everyday with Sam is a gift. 

Keep watching!

My Own Private Hell

There is very little happiness these days on General Hospital.  A show starved of joy and happiness but it does make for good drama sadly enough.  The citizens of Port Charles are battling their own personal hells as of late. 

Kate is in her own personal hell trying to figure out what the hell she is doing wearing old bloody wedding dress.  I think Kate is as coocoo as they come but the fact she is wearing her old wedding dress from 2008 she is clearly in need of some help.  Clearly she is living in a hell that she hasn't moved on from in the past 4 years.  The only person who can see how loony Kate has become is Olivia.  However, I don't think any of us know how freaking nutz Kate really is yet.  She is one crazy chick.  So what if it wasn't Sonny who shot Anthony's car up my money is on Kate.  I think she is also the one who shot Sonny in the parking garage. Maybe in the past 4 years while Kate's been wearing her old bloody wedding dress she has also been going to the firing range? Think about it. It would make sense. 

Speaking of crazy chicks, good old Helena is unleashing her latest fresh slice of hell on her most recent victims out on Spoon Island.  Holly rushing in just as Luke or Ethan were to get shot was convenient and very calculate.   Almost too convenient was her latest news of Ethan's paternity.  Is Ethan a Scorpio or a Spencer? My money is on Scorpio because Nathan's contract is up and he isn't renewing it.  But who knows what this story has in it's future.  I did enjoy seeing Holly, Helena and Luke on the same screen together again though.  I know Helena's a crazy old witch but gosh she is good and I love seeing her. 

I have very little interest in these OLTL characters and their presents on GH.  However, Starr will have to deal with her own hell when it comes to finding out about Cole (her boyfriend) and Hope (her child).  I never watched OLTL very much. I didn't follow the story of the Mannings at all.  I watched Natalie and John here and there other then that I had no interest in the show.  I just know that poor girl will have a horrible hell to deal with when she wakes up and finds out.  For Michael this reminds him of his own personal hell he has already been living of losing Abby.  Michael's hell has been upon him for months now.  Perhaps this will help him deal with his own hell.

No one can be going through more of their own personal hell then Anna, Robert and Patrick right now.  Anna had to do the unthinkable today.  She had to tell Robert their daughter was killed in an explosion.  Robert wanted to poke holes in this story but there was little room for error in this situation.  Robin was in the lab where Maxie, Matt and even Patrick all knocked things over in the lab.  There was very little room for this to be a calculated mistake and Robin is really alive.  Watching Anna having to tell Robert and his reaction was an amazing scene but the most tragic one of the day. 
For Patrick he did the thing he had to do.  He injected the medicine into Jason's brain.  He saved Jason's life.  While Patrick truly struggled with saving Jason's life but he saw Robin's ghost and knew he had to do the right thing.  Robin would never forgive him is he had let Jason die at his hands.  He knew that.  But once Patrick saved Jason and fought with Sam for the 40th time in that day, Patrick didn't know what to else to do.  Fighting with Sam at least kept him talking but once that was over, once he realized Sam was never trying to be insensitive or evil for asking him to do the surgery, he was washed over with the reality of everything.  Patrick finally heard Sam when she said she was truly sorry Robin was gone and that Jason was truly grateful. But after all of that Patrick could not even stand when he realized it was all over.  He has nothing left to do but try to live in this hell and try to go on.  Who should find Patrick in this extremely tragic  state but the no nonsense head nurse that challenges Patrick on EVERYTHING, Epiphany.  Today this scene had me in tears between these two.  Epiphany wasn't there to tell Patrick he was a rich spoiled arrogant doctor that needed to do something.  Today she was there to give him the only advice he could hear.  Epiphany knows loss far too well.  She explained to Patrick how he was going to go on.  Epiphany told Patrick what he needed to hear, 'You'll find the strength'.  'Do whatever it takes to keep her {Emma} going because that will keep you going too'.  'Patrick, you are a good man with a lot of good left to do in this world.  You can't let anything stop you, not even this.'  I have watched that scene about 5 times now.  It was the most touching scene I have seen in a very long time. 

I have still seen the Sam bashing out there over all of this.  Sam is doing the exact thing Patrick would have done if Robin was sick.  Sam is doing the exact thing Robin would have done if Patrick was sick and she is also doing the exact thing Jason would have done if Sam was sick.  Sam is fighting to keep Jason alive.  Sam loves Jason more then anything and she will do anything to keep him alive.  That is not wrong that is just a testament  to her love for him and their amazing love.  Sam never wanted Robin to die.  Robin and Sam were friends.  Sam respected Robin greatly and honored her past with Jason.  Sam honored Jason and Robin's friendship.  She did not throw Robin into the lab, she is not responsible for this.  She only asked Patrick to save Jason which is what Robin died trying to do.  She only asked a husband to honor his dead wife's last wishes.

Keep watching! Call, comment, do it all.  Try to remain positive! Remember Grandmother's advice, you catch a lot more flies with honey then you do vinegar.  Try it! 

I Couldn't Save Her

Today's episode of GH was so sad, it took me a long time to actually write about it.  If you watched today's episode of GH without crying you are one tough cookie.  Today was a tough episode to watch but I watched it.  Everyone should watch though because the acting talent has been Emmy award material. 

Today I was devastated as I watch Patrick tell Anna that Robin was gone.  Anna's reaction to hear her child (her only child) has been killed in an explosion was gut wrenching.  In those scenes I kept hearing Patrick say, "I couldn't save her.  I am so sorry, I couldn't save her. I'm sorry."  A parent should never have to deal with their child dying before them.  It is not the law of nature.  Parents are ready to go first it is in genetics.  It is how it should be.  For a parent to lose their child young or old is never right.  Anna's had years of training of how to act cool in a crisis, a skill she past on to her daughter too.  A skill little Emma will probably never get to learn from her own mother.  Anna tried today to keep it together to not completely fall apart but how can she not.  I have a feeling tomorrow when Anna has to tell Mac that is when it will really hit her. Mac - oh poor Mac.  He has already had to lose Georgie and now Robin.  This will kill Mac and he is in perfect health. This is so sad because Mac was finally starting to live again. 

Patrick is so devastated and he could not understand why Robin went back into the lab to get Jason's protocol.  Patrick can not comprehend what has happened.  Robin ran back into the lab to save Jason's protocol because Robin could not imagine a world without Jason in it.  Robin vowed to always save lives as a doctor and she had to go back in that lab.  She would not be able to live with herself if she had not tried to save that protocol.  Patrick will never understand that.  There will be a lot of things Patrick will never understand about all of this. I was half expecting Patrick to throw the vile with Jason's protocol across the room when he found it.  He is so angry I just hope he doesn't throw the medicine at Sam.  He looked like he was going to kill her today when she asked if that was Jason's medicine. 

Sam has so much pressure and stress to be dealing with this whole pregnancy.  Sam is tough but I fear this will result in something down the road for Sam's own health.  Today when Monica told Sam Jason was not going to recover she was shattered.  So when she saw Patrick standing with the vile of Jason's medicine in his hand, of course she was going to ask.  if the roles were reversed and Sam had just lost Jason but was holding in her hands the key to saving Robin's life - Patrick would do anything he could to save her.

There has been a lot of judgement thrown around today on message boards and social networks about GH today.  Mostly focused on Sam not telling Jason about Robin.  So here is my two cents about it, take it or leave it.  I believe Sam thought about telling Jason as she staggered into the room but Sam made a split decision to not tell Jason about Robin  because the second he started to ask about Robin he had head pain.  She realized in that second, she could not tell Jason that Robin had died in the blast.  Sam is aware of how close Robin and Jason are and knows what the two of them have meant to each other.  Sam has always respected that friendship but how could she tell him that Robin was killed in an explosion trying to save his life.  Sam knows this is the news that would kill Jason. How could she do that right now?  If you were in this situation would you tell your husband something when he is on his possible death bed something that would kill him? Answer: NO! no one would.   It tore Sam to pieces to tell Jason that lie but she didn't know what else to do.  

Not sure if everyone has heard but the next few weeks are critical for GH and ratings.  So please call, write, comment, tweet, facebook.  Do it all and then do it again.  KEEP IT ALL POSITIVE!!! Even if you can't stand a story line or two - KEEP YOUR FEEDBACK POSITIVE.  STOP THE NEGATIVITY!  It will only poison others and impact the show!