Not My Intension

Most of you have probably heard the saying, "the road to hell is paved with good intentions". The original person to say this quote is often a debate but you can't argue, no matter who said it first, the validity of the statement.  Most people don't set up to screw up their lives, their kids or the lives of the person they care the most about.  That is also true about the residents of Port Charles.

Luke never set out to screw up his life or his kids lives or the life of the two women he has loved with his whole heart.  Luke really never planned on causing the detrimental pain with unending repercussions.  But his actions did cause this severe pain that has caused even himself to bitter beyond hope.  At least that is what he wants everyone to believe, is that he is beyond hope but within Aiden is his redemption. As for the rest of the Spencers I am still twitching from yesterday's episode, so I have decided to not discuss their clan in much detail today.    

Instead I am going to focus on the reason I watch, Jason and Sam.  Today was a hard day for our super couple.  I have a feeling they are going to have a few more of these hard days before they can get past what has happened. Jason really has the best of intentions to try to help Sam but he is really failing at the execution of helping her miserably.  Jason wants to help Sam by having her talk about it and trying to talk about how to deal with it.  But Sam isn't there yet.  Jason is trying to push Sam to a point she is not at yet.  Sam is still teetering back and forth between denial and anger and trying to ignore it ever happened.   She's isn't to the point where talking about it is something she wants to do.   Sam is desperate to cling to the way things were before.  She wants Spinelli to stay for so many reasons.  While Jason is very ready to start a new life with Sam. Sam's readiness has been a bit derailed by Franco.  Don't doubt what I am saying here though. Sam loves Jason more then anything and she is committed to him and their life together and she is happy they are married.   However, she wants Spinelli to stay because he can give her something Jason can not right now.  Spinelli has no idea what has happened to Sam and so when she talks to him she doesn't see pain in his face or pitty for her.  She can pretend that nothing has happened to her with Spinelli around.  She can avoid dealing with the reality of the situation or at the very least have a small distraction from it.  

Jason is so lost right now.  He's rage and anger is all over the place.  He is more toward the anger stage of the healing process.  Jason didn't spend much time in the denial stage like Sam seems to be hanging out in. Jason is trying to help Sam.  He had no intention today to make her angry or upset or do anything other then just be there for her.  But Jason is also a victim in this and he needs to recognize that.  Right now he is focusing on making Franco pay, finding Franco, figuring out the game.   He is also so worried about Sam and her pain that he is trying to tell her how she needs to deal with this, indirectly.  This is not helping the situation.  He had every intention to try to help Sam today but his intentions only made Sam more frustrated and made her pull away even more. 

Sam said it clearly today and I think Jason finally got it at the end of their conversation.  She wants to push her pain aside, avoid dealing with what has happened to her just to help Jason.  She hates looking into Jason's eyes and seeing the pain. He doesn't look at her the same and that is killing her.  She wants to fix this for him but she needs to fix herself first.  But "fixing" doesn't happen overnight.  Eventually she'll see "fixing" herself doesn't mean she has to push Jason away.  She will also learn that she can't fix this but instead just accept it.

As heart breaking as the Jason and Sam scenes were today, there is no reason to doubt their love for one another and that they can't come through this even stronger.  Jason and Sam still love one another more then anything. Right now they are scared and fearful Franco has destroyed their dreams but he has not.  Their love is stronger then anything.  Something important to note, Sam didn't walk out the door she went upstairs.  That was huge.  She is not walking out on Jason or their marriage, she just needs a little time to be alone and try to get herself in check so she can be strong again for their relationship.  Don't be discouraged by today's show.  If anything be excited about what is coming up.  While things might get more tense between these two, you can't doubt their love for one another.  You also need to realize what Jason said. When Sam said , "what has changed" and his response was "everything".  For Jason EVERYTHING has changed when he married Sam.  He is not about to go looking around Lizzy Webber's door to talk to feel needed.  Sam is it for him.  There is no one else Jason will ever try to even talk to.  Sam is IT for Jason. Remember that, SB said it and so did KeMo.  While these two will have so much anger and might deal with it by attacking the Q's Thanksgiving table, they will work past this.  They are everything for each other and very soon they are going to start really showing this, I have faith.