Do Not Stand At My Grave And Cry

"Do not stand at my grave and weep" by Mary Elizabeth Frye
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die

This poem was first written in 1932 by Mary Elizabeth Frye  but many versions of this poem have been read at funerals for almost 70 years.  It is sometimes referred to as the funeral poem.  It was so fittingly selected for the poem for today's show and focus. When you experience a loss of this proportion no words can express your pain but some words can bring some comfort.   This poem reminds its readers that the person they mourn did not die because they live on in their memories and hearts.  Life does not end with death. 

Of course we know Sam's baby didn't die at all which makes this poem slightly ironic but all the same it made a perfect backdrop for our couple to talk today.

Last week I was pretty bitter about GH.  I was ready to write the whole thing off.  I felt like it was 2007 all over again but instead of Sam being the bad guy this time it was Jason. I stopped watching then for 2 years and I was ready to give up on the show after 25+ years of watching again. .  I was angry and soooo  frustrated about how this whole storyline had played out.  I wanted to call RC and tell him how he and ruined everything.  How he stole our baby story, how he wrecked a perfect couple, how he had ruined my perfect show.  I was really angry.  This past weekend I was so angry I almost removed this blog.  I was ready to write a signing off letter of absolute disgust  with the whole show.  I know I am not alone I know there are some of you out there that feel the same way.  But luckily I read some more positive views on the current story line at hand on various message boards that are a little more pro JaSam then pro Jizzer.  I also read some very insightful comments to past blogs I have written from some of you that reminded of me to look at things in a different perspective and try to see the positive. 

So thanks to many of you who read my blog, I am back and going to try to look at things in a positive light.  In 2007 a lot of people hated Sam for what she did to Jake.  That is when Jizzers became Jizzers.  But honestly (and the next few comments were posted by Lara a reader and GH fan ) maybe RC is actually a Sam fan.  Maybe he is trying to right what once went wrong with Sam's character.   Sam did nothing wrong in any of this. She was raped and had all of this happen to her but she is no victim she is doing her best to cope.  But Jason was the one that chose to be jealous over McBain then to actually be a mature adult about things and set this whole thing into motion.  Jason is no angel and never has been but RC showed that jealousy can cause even previously-thought-to-be-perfect Jason do things without thinking and out of jealousy. It even had some Jizzers thinking, "whoa if Jason can do this to Sam maybe we don't want him with Liz." RC showed the flip side of the coin and showed perfect Jason is far from perfect.  Jason keeps saying he didn't have time to think and process what happened but now he has time and he regrets so much.  But what is important is what Jason does now and going forward. 

Today Jason took a big step in being Jason again.  Today it took everything in Jason not to pull Sam into his arms to comfort her.  He wanted to but he knew that would scar her off.  Today Sam didn't scream at Jason in angry but actually allowed him to help her just a little.  They were honest with each other and took the first teeny tiny step in healing.  Today Sam let Jason comfort her a little.  He knows more then anyone the pain she is feeling right now. He knows how much Sam wanted to be a mother always.  She didn't have to pretend to be holding it together with Jason.  She could just be there.  Sam reached out for Jason as she read the poem.  She needs him but she just isn't sure she can forgive him but deep down she wants to.  But there is the honest fact that her child died (or so she knows it to be fact) and she can't move past Jason's role in all of it.  Not just yet.  I think the reason Sam ran away today was it was too much too quick.  She is still grieving and trying to breathe on breath at a time.  She can't think of how to move forward with Jason yet.  She loves him and he loves her.  There is so much love between them but there is also so much hurt.  Hurt can't be swept under the rug or just put on a shelf.  Jason poured his heart out today and he showed Sam he wanted her home with him.  But she isn't ready for that yet.  She needs to grieve and she is afraid if she moves back in with Jason it will all just be forgotten.  'So much has happened' and that is true.  Jason was MIA on Sam and looked at her so differently knowing that she was carrying Franco's baby.  You can't just forget that.  Nor can she just forget that the baby died because he did not get medical attention.  Jason did pour his heart out today and try to prove to Sam he is ready to stop focusing on the wrong things but it is going to take more then that to fix this. 

Best Quotes of the day
Jason to Sam: No matter what has happened, I am still your husband.  So come home with me.
Jason to Sam: I know how much we have hurt each other, but  I still love you and I think you love me too, come home, come home.
Sam to Jason: I promised I would love you forever and I will
Sam to Jason: Like nothing ever happened?
Jason to Sam: It happened but we can move on from it together, please just tell me you are willing to try.

Keep watching and keep the faith.  Keep reminding me to do the same.  Don't give up yet.  This summer may prove to really test our patience but I am going to try to stay positive this time and try to remember JaSam are the reason we watch and lets keep supporting them.